TMNT 2012 - Lost in the Chaos
by TheDarkKunoichi
Summary: (Previously 'TMNT 2012: Lost') It's peaceful now. The Kraang Invasion was finally stopped and the city was saved. Many lives were lost, but the only death that'll never be known is from the city's saviors themselves. Their Master, and in a way, their brother. But even they weren't certain on how their own brother became lost in the chaos, or if they're ever gonna find him alive...
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: This is set after the TMNT 2012 Season 2 Finale, The Invasion. Completely AU (Alternate Universe). If you haven't noticed, I've changed the title and the summary because I just realized now that it sounds so awkward and corny. Anyway, p****lease review guys, ya know I love ya'll! XDD**

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE:<strong>

It is pretty peaceful here now, New York was no longer a disaster zone. No longer quite as chaotic as before. Maybe the Invasion of the Kraang caused even the local street thugs to be afraid of their own shadow.

Let me summarize to you what happened.

The Alien Invasion was stopped ultimately by the Turtles, the Kraang were defeated though not yet gone, the Shredder is confirmed to be killed by the combined strengths of Leonardo (who gave him a fatal injury) and Master Splinter (who dealt the last blow), and everyone in New York resumed their normal lives after repairing the city. Except for the saviors of the city themselves: The Turtles.

They sustained the most terrible losses.

Master Splinter, their Ninja Master and their Father, is dead. Thrown in the sewer by the Shredder and ultimately succumbed to his injuries and drowned. They only found out what really happened to him after the mutated Snake Karai brought them back his body.

Karai then went missing right after.

Casey suffered massive injuries after trying to defend his family from the Kraang.

He's the only one of them to survive.

Leonardo went missing and presumed dead after Raphael lost him in the fight in April's apartment. Their brief glance at him before they were attacked showed evidence that Leo fought until the end.

No one knows where he is now.

April lost her father after his body collapsed from receiving mutagen too many times. She now tries to resume her normal life and rebuild her apartment. To this day, she can't bear to look at the window where they last saw Leonardo fall, nor glance at the couch where she last saw his father sat.

She lived a terrible life on her own.

Raphael is now the official leader and guardian of his brothers after the two eldest were gone. He finally showed enough discipline and succeeds in keeping his remaining brothers safe and alive. But Raphael never gave up on his original leader. He sometimes organizes search parties for Leo, refusing to believe he's gone and losing that slim chance of hope. But he too is losing himself. Michelangelo can sometimes see him at night crying when he thought nobody was awake. Donatello notices how he doesn't eat much anymore and how he lost a lot of weight. It was literally breaking their hearts whenever they saw him like that.

No one. No one up at the city knows how much these people and mutants sacrificed almost everything they had to keep the city safe. No one knows, and no one would ever will.


	2. Lost

**Chapter 1 - Lost**

**A/N: A warning, I'm not a doctor. So anything you read that is not accurate is most likely made up. Please review!**

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><p>Donnie will never forget the night they lost Leonardo and Master Splinter.<p>

After they got separated from the others, it is clear that it will be the last they will ever see of them...

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><p><em><strong>FLASHBACK...<strong>_

April, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Kirby stayed safe at April's apartment, not knowing what was happening to the others. Mikey kept texting and calling Leo to no avail. Splinter was out of reach. But thankfully, they can call Raphael and Casey. Fear gripped their hearts when Raph texted that they're being chased by Kraang Prime itself. They waited nervously for either of their families or Casey to pass by safely and to tell them what to do. Because they absolutely have no clue. What do you even do in an alien invasion anyway?

The eldest of the bunch, Kirby, was still scared out of his mind and whimpering in the corner. No one could really blame him, especially since he's developed a sort of trauma from the Kraang for all those months he's been captured. The second eldest, April, doesn't have a clue on how to proceed. She's just new on this stuff. So that left Donnie in charge. He spent the last few hours blaming himself for forcing the Turtle Mech on Leo even though it's clear that they really need to evacuate the city. He also blamed himself for not being able to realize April's friend Irma was a Kraang sooner. He was the one who knows and understands Kraang technology better for god's sake! He should've known something was up!

But now he had had enough moping around. He was currently forming a plan.

"Dude, I know you're totally forming a plan. You've got this, 'I'm forming a plan' look. Sooo... what's the plan?"

"Yeah Mikey, I'm forming a plan. Not quite as detailed as Leo's but it's pretty simple. We wait for Raph and Casey. If they're not back soon, we will go look for them while April and Kirby stays here. Then we will go out, find some kind of vehicle..."

"Because the Shellraiser's like, totally destroyed!"

Donnie glared at Mikey, who immediately gave a sheepish grin. "Thank you _very_ much for reminding me Mikey. As I was saying, we find another vehicle and go search for Leo. Then, assuming Leo is okay, we go search for Splinter and then get the heck out of here, all while avoiding Kraang at the same time."

Mikey stared thoughtfully at him. "Hmm... you're right. It IS so simple."

"Good. So now, we wait for Ra-"

"HEY! OPEN UP!" Someone yelled and banged loudly on the door. April rushed to open it and there stood Raph and Casey, who lookes sweaty, dirty, and covered in laser wounds. Donnie immediately went doctor mode on them.

"Oh good, they're just grazes. I swear you almost gave us a heart attack."

"Yeah. Not cool dude. Oh wait, Donnie? Is 'getting the heck out of here' next on your plan?"

"No, it's 'getting a new vehicle.'"

"Oh."

"I have a van I used back in the day when I was still a hippie!" Kirby grinned, trauma temporarily gone. "It's right in the garage."

"Okay, we'll use that."

"Wait, what are you guys talking about? What plan? What van?!" Raph demanded impatiently.

"Well, you see... Leo and Master Splinter's not back yet so I-"

"SAY WHAT?!"

"Look, it's a long story. But basically-?"

Mikey was suddenly cut off by a terrible crashing sound. Glass rained around them but no one paid attention as they stared, frozen in shock as a figure came tumbling into the room and crashing on the table, reducing it to splinters. April screamed and Kirby jumped away from the figure. They were all horrified when they saw the trademark blue bandana and the shellcell smashed on the floor next to him.

_"LEO?!"_

"Oh my god! What happened?!"

They all crowded around the beaten body of their brother. Donatello quickly analyzed his injuries with trained but worried eyes, but he soon gasped in shock and disbelief after he completed the inventory. Leonardo has horrible bruises covering every inch of his body, his carapace is cracked, he probably has a couple of broken ribs and dislocated bones. His arms and legs and face are covered in glass shards and splinters which are now bleeding from the impact on the window and table. He is also covered in different claw and bite marks which obviously came from some huge animal. There were some marks left from a chain in his left wrist that left it with a second-degree sprain. He also felt extremely cold to the touch and was trembling like he just took an icy bath in the middle of a frozen lake. But the most horrible and fatal of all was the mark of an extremely sharp blade on his throat. It extended from the bottom of his lip, across his throat, and ended past his shoulder blades. It didn't sever his throat completely, otherwise he would be dead by now. Leo probably dodged to the best of his ability, which reduced it to a minor cut. But the wound was bleeding badly already, if they didn't hurry soon, he might die from severe blood loss.

"He's losing blood fast!" Donnie informed them in horror. "We need to get him treated _NOW_!"

"Leo? Bro! I-If you wake up I promise to do anything you say!" Mikey whimpered.

"W-Who did this to him? I-I'll kill them... I'LL KILL THEM ALL!" Raph screamed in rage, his fists shaking madly.

"Wait, if he was thrown, then that means the ones who did this are outside!" Casey said. Raph's eyes blazed with the realization, but before he could move, figures landed in the room through the broken window. Everyone jumped in shock.

"Foot bots?!" Casey yelled in disbelief and backed away as two more landed in front of him. "They're the ones who did this?!"

"Oh no... guys! We gotta move!" April screamed. Right on cue, more Foot bots jumped through the broken window and quickly began filling the room with enemies.

"Go, go, go, _GET OUT OF HERE!_" Donnie yelled and pushed Kirby, April and Casey out the door and slammed it shut as the Foot attacked. Donnie blocked the way from the door and began leading the bots away from their human friends.

"DONNIE!" April cried out frantically outside. Casey began shouting curses as he pounded against the wood.

"Damn it! Come on guys, I can help!" Casey yelled and started to break the door from its hinges. Donnie gritted his teeth as he struggled to be heard above the noise. "Casey, go and protect April and Kirby! They need your help more than we do! Go to the van and get out of here NOW! We'll follow as soon as we can!"

"NO!"

"Come on Red! Let's get to the van! The guys can handle them... hopefully."

There was silence on the other side of the door and Donnie worried something got them, but it quickly changed to relief when he heard April again.

"Donnie! You better show up!" Donnie can almost imagine April glaring holes through the door at him and almost smiled. But it quickly disappeared as a Foot bot charged through his defense and stabbed a tanto deep into his shoulder.

"Dang..." He growled and quickly brought that piece of shrapnel down.

"Goddamnit!" Raph cursed and kicked a Foot bot straight in the face. "I can't get to Leo with these bastards in my way!"

"Dude, get him! I'll handle this!" Mikey said and suddenly abandoned his own enemies as he leaped through the air and landed behind the Foot bots in front of Raph. "You think you could get away easily after doing that to my brother?! HUH?!" He shouted in challenge. Many Foot bots turned to the noise and Donnie quickly took advantage of the situation and knocked out his own enemies.

"**BOOYAKASHA!**" He screamed and rushed to battle, his kusarigama at its full length, the blade shining as deadly as Leo's own katanas. He proceeded to slash and hack at his enemies and binded them in the chains, giving Raph enough room to slip through and reach Leo. Donnie leaped into the fray and twirled his bo staff around in a dangerous speed, knocking out the bots and piercing through them with the retractable blade in his staff.

"Remind me to not piss you off Mikey." Donnie grinned despite the pain in his shoulder.

"Just don't die and we're good bro." Mikey deadpanned and charged through more Foot. Donnie couldn't agree more.

Raph carefully scooped Leo up, eyeing his throat wound warily. He placed a hand behind his head to steady it before calling to the others.

"Come on, we gotta go!"

Donnie was about to run when he vaguely heard a noise and looked up outside the window just in time to see a volley of arrows piercing through the air at an alarming speed. He turned tail and ran, "GUYS!" he screamed. "ARROWS! _RUN!"_

They all scattered quickly but the arrows were faster. One pierced Don in the leg, making him stumble and almost fall, two thankfully just hit Mikey's shell. But Raph got the brunt of it because he got slowed down by Leo. Raph fortunately realized his situation, because he quickly tried to protect Leo's body with his own. In turn, several arrows hit him in the arms and legs. Mikey screamed his name and Donnie quickly held him back to stop him from charging and getting hit by the arrows too.

"RAAAPH!"

"I-I'm okay... g-get Leo and ru- _Argh_!"

He was cut off by a sharp kick to his side that sent him skidding across the floor. Raph grunted in pain and growled once he realized that he lost his place covering Leo's body. The arrows suddenly stopped, but something more dangerous stood with them now.

"It's... It's Tigerclaw!" Mikey screamed, quickly losing his newly-acquired seriousness earlier.

Said Tiger flashed them a cruel grin, showing off his extremely sharp teeth. "It feels good to be feared. Maybe you would say it again, but with a dying breath?"

He suddenly kicked Mikey across the room. Donnie yelled in shock as Mikey collided with the wall and banged his head hard.

"Are you the ones who did this to Leo?!" Donnie demanded. Partly to give his brothers time to recover, partly because he was curious himself.

Tigerclaw laughed. "Of course! That fool wandered off to our trap. I admit he fought bravely, almost succeeding in defeating the Foot all alone. But he can't match the combined strengths of Xever, Bradford, myself, and Master Shredder!"

Donnie gasped and Mikey choked in shock across the room. Raph growled in anger on the floor as he struggled to get up, "You... you AMBUSHED HIM?!"

"Oh yes, but to give him some credit, Leonardo was a very worthy and formidable opponent. Few get the honor of impressing me, so your brother is quite lucky. He fought until even his body failed him, but he succeeded in even giving Shredder an injury. His final wound, that cut on his throat, was a gift to him by Master Shredder himself."

Donnie doesn't know what to think. He was paralyzed and really horrified as the realization came crashing down on top of him.

Because of their stupid argument between that stupid Turtle Mech and a second base, he completely ruined the life of his eldest brother! This is all his fault! Leo fell to that trap and ambush because of him. Leo fought the Foot bots because of him. Leo fought Shredder's most powerful henchmen and Shredder himself all alone because of him! All because of his stubbornness!

Donnie made a mental note to kick that Turtle Mech all the way to China if he survived this.

He didn't realize that he blanked out for a moment there before he noticed that Mikey already reached his side and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, all the while listening to Tigerclaw and Raphael curse at each other. Mostly Raphael.

"You bastard! You heartless, furry bastard! Hell is kinder for the likes of you! I should kick your big furry ass and send you back to your kitty litter for doing that to my brother! DAMN YOU!"

Tigerclaw simply smiled at him coldly, "Don't you worry Turtle. I'll send you there first."

Donnie watched as Raph ripped off an arrowhead from his shoulder, seemingly not feeling any pain. He growled and held his sais out threateningly, which, knowing Raphael, probably meant '**go to freaking hell**' in weapon language.

Donnie suddenly felt Mikey tap his shoulder silently, seeming to try and not draw any attention to them. Donnie faced him and Mikey gestured subtly at Leo's body, still lying on the floor after Raphael left to kick some kitty ass. He vaguely remembered Raph saying to grab Leo and run, but he couldn't leave another brother behind. He just can't!

"Mikey, get Leo and find April. She's probably at the garage by now. Get out of here through the van and try to treat Leo. Raph and I will catch up to you."

"But-"

"_Go_!"

Mikey scrambled up and ran across the room to reach Leo. Unfortunately, he wasn't stealthy enough to go unnoticed. Both Tigerclaw and Raph turned to look at him, the latter looking angrier than Donnie's ever known him.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Tigerclaw said and charged like a raging bull towards Mikey, who yelped in fear and grabbed Leo's arm in a deathgrip.

"GET AWAY FROM MY BROTHERS!" Raph cried and slammed like a bulldozer into Tigerclaw's side. Tigerclaw flew across the room and collided on the kitchen table where he bumped his head at the edge. He would hopefully be dazed for a while.

"Come on Raph! Let's get out of here!" Donnie yelled.

Raph didn't move an inch.

"Get Leo and run! He's more important right now!" Donnie tried again.

Don could obviously see Raph hesitating. Revenge was obviously on the forefront of his mind. But what about Leo?

"RAPH! LEO'S DYING! LET'S GO _NOW_!" Donnie screamed in despair.

Finally, that seemed to wake him up from his stupor. He scooped up Leo and ran out the door. Donnie grabbed Mikey and reached into his belt. He pulled out his smoke bombs and threw two quickly just as Tigerclaw was looking coherent enough to stand. Purple smoke quickly enveloped the room but too late, Tigerclaw managed to throw shurikens just before the Turtles disappeared.

**~O~**

The Turtles suddenly appeared on the sidewalk in front of April's apartment building in a puff of purple smoke. They could clearly see the damage in the room from down there. Suddenly, Donnie heard a sound and turned just in time to see five shurikens coming in for the kill.

He didn't have time to dodge so the shuriken instantly dug deeply into his arm. Mikey got one on his side, but the rest seems to be heading for Raph and Leo. Only this time, Raph didn't see the shurikens in time and it pierced his arms and hands so deeply that it made him drop Leo. Mikey immediately dove to catch him but was instantly kicked away by a metal leg. A metal foot suddenly appeared right in front of Donnie's face. He just had the second to think, "Fishface!" before he crashed to the wall of the antique shop, 'The Second Time Around'.

Suddenly, a loud wolf cry pierced the quietness of the night and a huge wolf touched down on the sidewalk. Donnie heard Mikey moan "Rahzar..." before he was kicked again by Fishface.

"Dang, you again?!" Raph groaned in pain as Rahzar threw a punch on his face.

"You really don't know how to keep your mouth shut eh Turtle?" Fishface taunted as he sent his throwing knives at Donnie while still kicking the heck out of Mikey. Donnie quickly dodged it but his bandana tails got pinned. He gritted his teeth and pulled, but it was caught tight.

"Oh, poor turtles. Caught at last 'ey? Well don't worry, I'll make your deaths more painful than your brother over there." He said and pointed his knife at Leo who looked horribly like a broken ragdoll next to Raph.

Donnie was about to distract them yet again with questions while he figured a way out of here before he was cut off by a loud **HONK**. He almost broke his neck to look at their savior, a big yellow van coming out of nowhere that rammed into both Fishface and Rahzar, sending the two tumbling across the street.

"GOONGALA!" A cry echoed in the van before the door was opened and April and Casey leaped out. April immediately headed to Donnie and helped rip the knives off his mask tails while Casey helped both Mikey and Raph.

"Come on! We don't have much time! Kraang Prime is chasing us! It mutated my dad again and would do the same to everyone if we don't get out of here NOW." April said and Donnie heard a vague sob before she headed off to the vehicle again. Donnie ran to Raph and helped Casey carry him to the van. Raph was injured, but not as terribly as Leo's... LEO!

"GUYS! WHERE'S LEO?!" Donnie cried in alarm and they all immediately froze in shock. Donnie leaped out of the van and looked out the street where they last saw him, but no one's there. Fishface and Rahzar disappeared too.

"They're all gone..." Donnie said in disbelief, his hollow voice echoing in the empty street.


	3. Dead

**Chapter 2 - Dead**

**A/N: I will publish this now as a Christmas gift, but be warned, because I am _extremely_ slow on updating. (I have the worst case of writer's block in the WHOLE world). But I hope you will hold out that long because I would hate to lose my readers. And also, this will be the only chapter where I would mention whose point of view it is. But it's still 3rd person because I never really liked 1st person. Please review!**

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><p>As if losing Leo isn't hard enough, Master Splinter's death hit home the <em>worst<em>.

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><p><strong>April's POV<strong>

_**FLASHBACK...**_

"Y-You monster! _AARRGGGGHHHH!_"

April watched with tear-filled eyes as Raphael pounded the metal grate furiously with all his might. After losing Leo, Raph demanded they go look for him, but before they could, Kraang Prime appeared and chased them all away from the area with mutagen. They barely made it, but then Casey told them that he had to find his own family while they go search for Master Splinter. He was their only hope now because their leader was _gone_. So here they are, under the sewers, where they were forced to watch Splinter and Shredder's battle to the death. To their shock and dismay, Splinter lost and was thrown in the raging sewer waters with horrible injuries that could get infected in no time in the dirty water, and they were powerless to stop it.

But Shredder was staggering, of that she could see through all the ruckus Raphael is making. She could see him gripping his chest painfully, the blood seeping through from a deep wound that looked like it came from a sword. But that's strange, because Master Splinter didn't _have_ a sword. But she didn't have the time to think on that because all of a sudden, Shredder collapsed to the ground with a groan and lay there, unmoving. All of them were shocked to silence, Raphael included.

"W-What just happened...?" Michelangelo asked hesitantly after a long period of silence. "I-Is he dead?"

"I'm not sure Mikey..." April replied. She then noticed Raphael reaching down towards his belt. She didn't have time to cry out before Raph held back his arm and with a yell proceeded to throw a barrage of shuriken through the grate. April shielded her eyes and Donatello quickly covered her line of sight as the sounds of the shurikens piercing and slicing through skin and metal echoed through the tunnel. She suddenly felt something wet splatter on her face and arms, but Donnie covered her quickly from the brunt of it. She just had the second to look up and see that it was that vile monster's _blood_ before sounds of grenades and smoke followed soon after and April held on tighter to Donnie.

"What did you do that for Raph?!" Donatello angrily cried out after the bombing died down.

"To make sure if he's really dead and not just bluffing." Raphael hissed furiously. "Aren't you suspicious that the bastard suddenly dropped dead right after he threw Splinter down the drain? He's lucky the grate's still there or I would've barged in and sliced him off to bits!"

"Dude calm down! Splinter wouldn't have liked what you just did-!"

"How would you know what he would like?! He's dead! And he's not coming back! Leo's gone too! And it's all because of that bastard! He got the easy way out!" Raphael screamed in complete rage as he punched the metal grate. He gritted his teeth and punched it again with the same hand. April barely saw the blood on his knuckles before he punched it with the same fist again. April cried harshly as he continued mutilating himself. Donatello screamed for him to stop and began loosening his hold on her. Raphael kicked the grate and brought out his sais where he started trying to slice it down when suddenly, April saw something pass by them and proceeded to tackle Raphael with unbelievable speed and strength.

April stared at them as the tears completely streamed down her face. She was shocked to silence as Michelangelo held on to Raphael like a lifeline. She watched as he gently lowered down Raph's hands where he still had his sais in a bone-crushing grip. Mikey was crying silently, but with a determined look, he placed Raphael's head on his shoulder and said, "It's alright Raph, let it out, it's okay to c-cry. I'm here. Master Splinter and Leo are gonna be just fine. Don't go losing yourself over this, we still have something to finish. Come on bro, let it out. For me?"

That was the first time April saw Mikey act like that, and it just made her cry more. Because she knows that things already changed. For better or for worse.

Meanwhile, Raphael was just staring into space with wide, unseeing eyes. Then suddenly, those bright green orbs began filling up with tears and he broke down on Mikey's shoulder. His body wracked with powerful sobs as he trembled and yelled out uncontrollably. Mikey just continued patting his shoulder reassuringly while crying himself.

April suddenly felt something wet land on her shoulder and she craned her neck upward to see Donnie's tear-filled eyes. When he saw her looking at him he hugged her a lot tighter and cried more harshly. April returned the hug and just watched sadly as her second family broke down both mentally and physically.

She absolutely did her best to ignore the smoking and disfigured corpse lying in the tunnel just beside theirs...

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><p><strong>Donatello's POV<strong>

They would later find out that Shredder died because of a sword wound on his chest caused by none other than Leonardo himself, which explained what Tigerclaw said about Leo's final struggle against the Shredder. But they still wouldn't believe Splinter's gone, so they scoured the sewers for any sign of him as they should've done for Leo. They almost gave up, until a visit to Leatherhead's old sewer tunnel changed that. They were surprised to see Snake Karai suddenly appear, but that was nothing compared to the shock they felt when they saw her rescuing Splinter's body from the water. But when she saw them, she immediately dove back from where she came from, ignoring their cries of "Wait!" and "Come back!"

Maybe that's why she ignored them. Maybe that's why she went missing right after and never came back. Because she knew that her real father was dead and that there was no one remaining in her life that cares about her anymore. Splinter's dead, Shredder's dead, even Leo's gone.

She had to get away.

Donnie hopes he can do that too.

"Raph..? What are we gonna do now?" Mikey asked quietly, his voice slightly hitching as he turned to look at Raph with eyes full of terror.

Donnie watched Raph flinch violently. They all know that everything will fall on his shoulders once the two eldest were gone. Raph should've been happy, because that's what he have always wanted, dreamed of, and even argued about since Leo took the role as the leader. But this time, there was no real thrill from the idea. Raph got the position because his own father and brother were _gone_. They were gone before their very eyes. They all watch them go down, and there was nothing they could do to even help.

Raph's knees buckled without warning and he collapsed on the ground hard. Donnie quickly knelt down to see what was wrong but was frozen when Raph suddenly let out a long and desperate scream, his voice completely filled with anguish and helplessness, his face looking so frightened and lost.

That was the time their real situation hit home.

The thing that made Donnie realize he was so scared.

Not of the Kraang, or even the Invasion. Those seem meaningless now. You can't even hear the chaos in this part of the sewers.

No... he was scared because they're on their own now. Three turtles who were the only ones who could stop an alien invasion. Three turtles who just lost a father and a brother. Three turtles who have no one to lead them to victory.

What were _they_ supposed to do?!

But he couldn't break down like Raph did, no. Right now, he should be acting strong and level-headed. It is the least he could do after all the pain and suffering he caused Leo.

It was the least he could do...

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><p><strong>AN: Hi again. Just wanna let you guys know that I drew the scene where Mikey and Raph hugged and cried in the tunnels in Deviant Art. Feel free to look it up, the link's in my profile. Please comment on it, let me know if it's any good. :) And please review?**


	4. Memories

**Chapter 3 – Memories**

**A/N: Let's just assume for a moment that the Turtles and Splinter are Buddhists. If you want to correct me, go ahead, but I won't change this chapter. BTW, this is a Mikey chapter for all the Mikey lovers out there and will be full of flashbacks. We will get to the main story soon, I promise. But now, I'm hoping to make you cry or at least sad enough to leave a review. **

**This is a pretty long chapter, so please review! I would very much appreciate it!**

**That's all and have a nice day!**

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><p>Following Splinter's death and Leo's disappearance, the remaining members of the Hamato family agreed that it would be best to evacuate the city, as the lair is no longer safe. They lost two of their family members already, and was not eager to lose another one. April suggested a farmhouse upstate where her family once went to for vacations. She said that it was okay for them to live there for a while because there was no one living near. They agreed, but then Casey appeared with the van looking near dead, it was a miracle he even managed to drive through all the chaos. He told them that his family were all gone, shot to death by the Kraang's laser guns even as he tried to protect them. Casey suffered from a lot of injuries himself and his flesh was steaming and burned from direct hits from the lasers. He was extremely lucky to be alive.<p>

Casey cried a lot, kept saying that he fled the scene like a coward, too heartbroken to really do anything else. He didn't even think of trying to avenge his family. The Turtles and April were again devastated. They all lost their families right in front of their eyes that it left them all shocked to silence, too distraught to even think of anything besides their loved ones. But then April quickly snapped out of it because she sensed something huge and dangerous approaching their location. She quickly commanded Raphael to drive the van because Casey was unable. They all carried Splinter's body in the vehicle and sped away just as Kraang Prime stepped around the corner. Fortunately, they were already miles away, the only positive thing to ever happen that day...

They arrived at the farmhouse without any Kraang chasing them. It was a brief time to catch their breaths. Then, they proceeded to move Splinter's body which was covered by a brown cloth out of the van and into the garage. It would decay before their very eyes if they left him out too long. So Donnie suggested a funeral. Of course Raph was angry, mad beyond belief. Mikey was standing there staring at Splinter's body like he couldn't believe what was happening. But Donnie became the voice of reason, saying the effects it would have on all of them if they didn't do something. They might get sick because of the bacteria and they might get hurt even more if they see his body decaying and getting swarmed by flies. He said a lot more horrifying things that Raph finally agreed. But it instantly shamed him because of how easily he agreed to Donnie without a fight, whereas he would be beating up Leo badly for even thinking like that right now.

Then Mikey remembered Splinter telling them jokingly after the Rat King incident that if ever he wouldn't make it, he wished to be cremated. Because if he was buried, and someone discovered it, well… there would simply be terrible consequences. He also wanted to die like his beloved Tang Shen, burned in the flames. Splinter also mentioned that he would like all of his sons to be there for him, praying and chanting for him. He said that the eldest should be the one to burn the body, because it means that he would be the one to carry the responsibilities of the one who died. But then Mikey remembered that Leo was missing, and knew that it should be Raph who would be the one to burn their father.

Donnie and Raph remembered what Splinter said as well and told Casey and April, who immediately agreed to help and to let them use the grounds surrounding the farmhouse. Then they scrounged for anything that can be used for the ceremony. They found a nice jar that looks elegant and beautiful, perfect for their father's ashes. April said it belonged to her grandmother. Casey and Donnie proceeded to build a casket and a platform for the body to burn while Raph collected the firewood, which seemed to take longer because he was probably still delaying the inevitable. Mikey and April are in charge with the preparations for the ceremony, the flowers, as well as dressing up Splinter's body in his everyday robes.

Everyone was crying, but most were silent, filling the air with a tense mood. But then Donnie broke the silence by pointing out that it was already getting dark and he should treat their wounds first, lest they become infected. Raph marched to his room without a word, slamming the door, while April led Casey inside the farmhouse. Donnie and Mikey covered Splinter's body with a cloth again before leaving him in the garage and heading after the others...

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><p>"OW! That fricking hurts man!"<p>

"Well, I'm sorry! It's not my fault you almost burned to a crisp with all those laser wounds!"

"It's not my fault either! You think I _want_ to get shot at?!"

"Shut up and suck it up Jones!"

"Guys, guys!" Mikey cried, holding his hands up desperately. "Hold it! We're all just tired. Especially after all that happened. You all need to rest!"

"Mikey's right." April said calmly, staring hard at the two arguing boys. "You all need some sleep. We'll think about this in the morning. I'll help you treat him Donnie. Mikey, why don't you go and check on Raph? He needs help with all those injuries. We'll be there soon."

"And in case Raph has an infection, just wash the wound at once with clean water and soap, okay?" Donnie said.

"Got it." Mikey said and proceeded upstairs where Raph was holed up in a room, refusing to come out. No one was able to coax him out yet. They all want to be alone, but treating their wounds came first.

* * *

><p>"Casey, please bear with it for awhile." April told him and immediately got started in cleaning the bad burns on his arms that has started to form angry blisters. She looked to Don for a medical explanation, because she has absolutely no idea how to treat wounds like this.<p>

Donnie exhaled. "Okay, we never knew the effect of the laser guns of the Kraang until recently, when I got hit. But that was only a mild graze. Casey's was full-blown impact. The result, as you can see, was really burned flesh with blisters, probably a second degree burn. We have to be absolutely careful not to pop any blisters. Casey, have you had a tetanus shot lately?"

"A few years ago. Why?"

"Oh good, for a moment I thought you aren't immune. It lowers the risk of an infection then, but we still need to clean it with some mild soap or water. Again, carefully and with hands clean."

"Dude, I, like, get injured a lot so it's absolutely necessary for me to have a shot. How about you? Are you immune?"

"Of course! I developed my own tetanus shot so it's suitable for mutated turtles. Have _you_ ever tried to create your own tetanus shot?!"

"Okay, pipe down you two! I only want to know Casey's condition, not your history of tetanus shots! Don't we have other things to worry about? Like, getting all of you treated?!" April yelled and glared at the two of them who fell into a respective silence. She sighed wearily and said in a softer voice. "I'm sorry. I'm just as stressed as you are. Let's hurry up so we can check on Raph."

The two boys nodded and was silent through the whole thing. Finally, they were done applying the bandages. He had a lot of burns so Casey ended up looking kind of like a mummy. This amused them slightly, but then the events recently suddenly reared its ugly head and they immediately sobered up again. Donnie broke the silence by clearing his throat. "I guess I probably have to go check on Raph now."

"I'll help." April made to stand up but was immediately stopped by Donnie. He shook his head. "April, Raph wouldn't like visitors for now. I hope you understand. He probably wouldn't even welcome _me_."

April immediately understood. "Alright. Take care of him."

Donnie tried to smile, but it came out more as a grimace. "Of course."

* * *

><p>Mikey headed up the room where Raph was staying hesitantly. Usually, he would be bounding up the stairs and leaping through the door without permission but he stopped completely when he was caught by Leo.<p>

Leo... Mikey stopped midstep and hastily rubbed his eyes. He sniffed silently as he thought about what Leo might be doing right now if he was here. He probably won't even try to cry at all. He'll probably act strong for them and act like this is nothing, just like that particular incident...

**Flashback:**

_It was a pretty bad night. Everyone was stressed and pissed. Raph mostly. It was because of a pretty bad fight between the Foot. Leo called for a retreat because they were badly outnumbered, but Raph thought he could take them. This led to a verbal fight between the two. But as usual, Leo was right, they almost didn't make it, but Raph was still pretty angry. So they went their separate ways after they got home. _

_But Mikey, being Mikey, thought he could cheer Raph up, so he bounded up the stairs noisily and almost barged through the door when someone suddenly yanked him back. He yelped and turned to see his older brother frowning and shaking his head, as if saying "please don't do anything stupid right now." But the damage had been done. Raph slammed his door open and growled like a very angry bear. And of course, Raph being Raph, he immediately assumed it was Leo even though it's obviously not him, and he proceeded to beat him up right in front of Mikey. _

_That was a pretty awful sight. Leo had a lot of injuries and a black eye but Raph only had a bruise. Maybe it was because of Raph's fast blows that Leo hadn't had the time to react accordingly. But Leo just took it in stride, just tomorrow he was already laughing and joking around, like those bruises and black eyes didn't hurt at all, but Mikey could tell from those winces of his that he was hurting very bad. _

_Of course, Mikey was beyond furious. That wasn't like the regular fight they always have. It was very different, and Raph completely exaggerated the situation. Mikey was so angry, he didn't cook Raph any meals the whole week, but that still didn't stop Raph from beating Leo up.._

Come to think of it... Mikey just realized how they often treated Leo, and that just made him feel even worse. They always made fun of him, treated him like he was a nobody. Like he was not their brother. Like he was not their leader. Well, of course they love him, but they often didn't show it. Leaders should be respected right? And brothers should be loved. They showed none of that. Mikey wondered how Leo put up with them all. With Raph's attitude, insults, fist fights, and constant sneaking out, Donnie's all nighters, and Mikey's shell-headedness, and of course Master Splinter's harsh training, they were lucky he hasn't ran away yet. He was always there for them, but they were never there for him when he needed them the most.

They hadn't appreciated him enough.

Mikey felt a well of tears build up and before he could stop it in time, it fell uncontrollably. He sniffed and hiccupped as the realization began to pile up at him.

They hadn't appreciated him enough...

They only really noticed him when he was always in near-death situations. Like that time in the first Kraang invasion, but even that was a fleeting moment. They were back to normal teasing and insulting almost immediately.

They _never_ appreciated him enough...

Mikey clenched his fists to stop them from shaking.

They hadn't realized how much they cared about him until he was gone.

Mikey giggled uncontrollably.

_It must be karma. Damn karma._

He pressed himself hard against the wall as he struggled to breathe, but he couldn't control his harsh sobs. He remembered when Leo showed his true self to Mikey, even for a short moment...

**Flashback:**

_Leo walked silently beside his brothers back to the Shellraiser after that Lame-o-nardo incident. Raph and Donnie were oblivious to this and continued on laughing about how they bested him. But Mikey noticed, and he waited for them to get far enough away before he grabbed Leo's shoulder and stopped him. He snapped up to look at Mikey's serious face, confusion evident in his eyes even as his face remained blank. "What is it Mikey? Come on, we gotta catch up."_

_"No, we are not moving until you tell me what's wrong. Is it about the Lame-o-nardo thing? Well, it was all Raph's idea, and we all know Raph-"_

_"No it's not that." Leo muttered._

_"Is it about training earlier? Well I just thought it would be fun to throw water balloons at your face while I snatch your holsters..."_

_"No, it's not that. Even so, that is NOT funny."_

_"Well then what is it?" Mikey demanded._

_Leo stared at him impassively. But Mikey patiently waited for an answer. Eventually, Leo realized this and he sighed. "You're really not gonna let this go huh?"_

_Mikey grinned. "Nope."_

_Leo sighed in defeat. "Ugh, knew it."_

_"So what's your problem?"_

_Leo looked away. "It's nothing.."_

_"I'm pretty sure there's something. Come on, spit it out!"_

_Leo glared at him. "There is NOTHING to spit out. Leave it alone Mikey!"_

_Mikey glared at him as well, but inside, he didn't know what he was doing or why he was pissing Leo off so much. "What, are you scared to admit something? Come on Leo, tell me! Aren't you the __**'Fearless Leader'**__?"_

_This time, Leo exploded. "THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM! I'M NOT FEARLESS! You don't know what I feel! What I always worry about. What I always THINK!"_

_"Well then what is it you always think about?" Mikey taunted even more even as he becomes scared of Leo's growing rage. He didn't know why Raph does this all the time because it is NOT fun to watch Leo furious._

_"What I'm thinking about?! I'm ALWAYS thinking, what if we got to a real fight!? Not those petty gang fights we always do. What if we got outnumbered and we couldn't escape in time?! What if our skills, even those random things you showed earlier, can't hold them and we got trapped?! What if I do the wrong thing and get you all injured. Or worse, killed!? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happens!"_

_"Dude, that's NEVER going to happen! We're like, invincible! We'll just defeat them like we did with the Kraang in that invasion thing!"_

_Leo looked at him angrily. "Mikey, we are NEVER invincible. There is always a possibility that we might DIE!"_

_Mikey flinched and Leo struggled to regain his breath. "I-I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me.. I just, I'm sorry."_

_"Dude, no. This is what you always feel, right? This is what you always worry about. It's alright, let it out. I won't interrupt." Mikey told him and he watched as Leo looked at him in shock. Mikey smiled in encouragement and nodded._

_But to Mikey's surprise, Leo ran. But not away from him. TOWARDS him. He yelped as Leo jumped and tackled him in a hug. He sniffed and held him tight as he spoke softly, a different contrast to his mad shouting earlier._

_"I... I was always scared. I thought that being a leader was nothing. Even thought that it was fun. But no, I never knew the burden that came with it. I always have to worry about all of you constantly. I always have to watch your backs while in battle. I always have to think of ways to not get us all killed. I always have to observe and see if there are no one following us to the lair. I never knew that it would be so hard. I always think, "What if, one day, I failed? What if I failed to bring all of you home alive?" It always worries me whenever you leave without me knowing. I can't even SLEEP at night!" He yelled and Mikey felt something wet drop on his shoulder with a jolt. Because Leo NEVER cried. At least, to his knowledge. But what if sometimes, he did, and they never knew?_

_Mikey squeezed him even more, trying to tell him that he's here. But he promised that he wouldn't interrupt, so he wouldn't._

_Leo went on. "I know that someday, I will have to take the blow for you. And if that time comes, I wouldn't hesitate at all. I love you all so much."_

_Mikey felt his own eyes getting moist, and he buried himself in Leo's shoulder. Leo switched positions, he placed his chin on top of Mikey's head and patted his shell. Now, it probably looked like it was Mikey that needed comforting. Even when Leo was having a breakdown, he still thinks about Mikey's welfare, and that made him cry more._

_"In that last Kraang invasion, I thought that was it. I really thought that I was gonna die, but I would be happy to accept it, knowing that I did it for you so that you could get home safe. I was ready, but then Raph came, and then I realized that I was glad to be alive."_

_Mikey heard Leo chuckle through his tears. "Raph is such a softie. It may never seem obvious, but Raph is the kindest out of all of us. He watches our backs whenever I couldn't do it for you. That's why I always thought that, if ever I failed, he would take my place. He would be perfect for the role. I was only chosen because I asked for it. But if there was ever a true leader out of all of us, it was always him."_

_Mikey stared at him. "Are you out of your mind? Raph was TERRIBLE when he tried for leader. Remember Snakeweed?! Donnie would be better off!"_

_"Donnie's mind is always on other things. He can't protect you efficiently. But Raph could. He was just nervous then, but he'll grow used to it."_

_Mikey still stared at him like he wasn't thinking clearly. Actually, he was. "I still think you are crazy."_

_Leo laughed. "I know."_

_Leo patted Mikey's shoulder one last time before they parted and turned to walk back home._

_But then Leo called him silently. "Mikey."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Thanks. I needed this."_

_He smiled and Mikey grinned back. "Anytime bro, I'm always here to annoy you so much that you literally spit all your problems out."_

_Leo glared at him again. "By the way, NEVER do that again."_

_Mikey laughed. "Dude, I wouldn't dream of it. You're terrifying enough. But, in case you haven't noticed, it's the ONLY way to get you to talk. You would refuse until hell freezes over, which is NEVER."_

_Leo laughed and swung his left arm around Mikey's shoulders. Mikey did the same with his right arm._

_"But honestly? Just remember that I will always be here for you bro. Always."_

Mikey cried harshly as he slid down the wall and buried his face in his arms.

"I lied. I'm not there for you when you needed me the most..."

His breath trembled as he tried to whisper through his hiccups.

_"I lied..."_


End file.
